Whom do you trust?
So who do you trust? Do you trust the government? Do you trust your child alone with a Catholic priest? Trust your doctor? Your lawyer? The legal system? Your friends, family, business associates?
Do you trust the babysitter, alone...at night..with your kids and all your possessions?
I think trust is dying in the United States. Back in 1995, Francis Fukayama wrote a book exploring the level of trust in different societies. He found that there were differences in how much trust people had in institutions and people that varied by culture. There was also a correlation between the level of trust and each culture / nations level of wealth and prosperity.
The United States, Japan and Europe have traditionally had high levels of trust. Africa and South America's trust levels are low. Compare teh economic and societal performance of America and Nigeria. Where do you want to live?
Do you think trust levels are rising or falling in the United States? I think the evidence is everywhere that trust levels are falling, and this is not a good sign for the future of our nation, our society or our economy. What are the signs? According to Gary North, "it starts with skepticism, escalates to cynicism and culminates in the politics of class politics."
His definitions describe how things work for me. I started as a skeptic and have definitely graduated to cynicism, or as I like to call it, taking a realistic view of the world.
In an article worth reading for Marketwatch, John C Dvorak claims public trust is eroding by citing the failure of public watchdog groups like Standard & Poor's, the collapse of companies like Enron and Worldcom, the constant fleecing of the public from Mortgage companies, credit card companies and banks. Dvorok writes:
"Every single institution of public trust has decided to go all in and
see what they can steal from a passive uncomplaining public made
paranoid by government surveillance and the now seemingly permanent
orange-alert status of the country over terrorism."
"The whole scene is as bleak as it could be, but because of a declining public interest and perhaps a general stupefaction of the public, nothing is done about it. It's a population of sheep being fleeced over and over with hardly a complaint."
So let me ask you, "is the level of trust you have in your church, government or school higher now than it was in the past, or do you find yourself installing the nanny cam and asking for more supervision like Britain has or New York is in the process of doing?
I was always amazed when I think about America 150 years ago. Families would pack everything they own into a wagon and head off into the wilderness to forge a new life. There were no cell phones, no internet and whatever medical care you could find was spotty at best, but they did it. They would meet people along the way and, I think, they would generally trust them. There was no need for a lawyer and constant supervision from the government.
The level of trust was high. This allowed us to build the greatest economy in the world. Today people not only distrust their institutions, they distrust themselves and the people around them. Most people can't go to the grocery store without taking a cell phone or make a decision without consulting an expert. We used to be a nation of men. We are now becoming a nation of sheep. People eat sheep.
Comments
I want come back and chew on this some more.
A coupla thoughts off the top of my head.
Regardless of your religious beliefs, when Christianity/Judaism was more prevalent, like when the 10 commandments and Bible were in the school system, that provided a clear framework.
I think what we are experiencing now is a loss of a clearly articulated, communicated and negotiated framework.
Without which we cannot foster trust.
To really foster trust, I have to feel safe. I image you have to feel safe, at least on some level.
The exercise we did at my office Monday, threw out a framework. These are a great group of people and an excellent company. And what I felt was a loss of trust with that exercise. Hmmm. I'm still chewing on that one.
In relationships and my work as a Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach my clients email me and approach me with, "April, I want to GET MARRIED, please help me." or "April, I want to BE in a RELATIONSHIP, please help me."
Indeed, I am delighted to do so. However, like I am doing right now with a possible client, I need to devote a good amount of time to the DISCOVERY phase and ask a lot of good and pertinent questions to help flesh out what it is that is what they really want.
For instance, upon your influence, for folks who have been married before, I ask now a lot more about, "Do you even want to get married? Or is being in a committed, negotiated relationship sufficient? Will that meet your need? Would you be happy with that?" A lot more women have bought into "I need to be married." And even just asking them those questions is good because they hadn't considered it before. They may still arrive at the conclusion of, "Yes, I want to be married." However, the exercise was worth considering for them.
Another thing is quite often we use a term on our Love Tick List as a short hand. Like Sonya and I have discussed, being Christian, we had formerly said, "Must be Christian." Wellllll, experience has shown us that some men with that label were not our best choices. And some men who were not "Christian" were cherishing us in the manner we WANTED and we had aligned values.
Ahhhh.
Aligned values.
Maybe THAT was a better term.
And then using that term then prompted us to chew on that and delineate it more, give our values flesh.
Indeed, for communication purposes sometimes we do need to use short hand.
For relationships, whether romantic, platonic, or business, we will need to devote the time over a period of time to flesh that out and discover the nuances.
And then, indeed, you have a relationship with that person.
Great post, as ever, Steve!
All the best,
April BraswellRomance Coach, Online Dating Coach
This is not just a US problem. All European countries I am familiar with seem to be nations of sheeps. Naturally, this is encouraged by politicians of all parties and nationalities - without sheeps their breed can't survive.
Great post. Very thought-provoking... It actually never occured to me that I should or could trust any institution.
Yann
Yann Vernier - Personal Coach
Brilliant point! Spoken like a fellow 'Sheep Dog'
If you have no capacity for violence then you are a healthy productive citizen, a sheep. If you have a capacity for violence and no empathy for your fellow citizens, then you have defined an aggressive sociopath, a wolf. But what if you have a capacity for violence, and a deep love for your fellow citizens? What do you have then? A sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the hero's path. Someone who can walk into the heart of darkness, into the universal human phobia, and walk out unscathed. - Colonel Dave Grossman on Sheepdogs
Steve great post. Yann , thanks for you insight as well! Huge issue! Affects us in every aspects of our daily worlds!
John
All the best,
April BraswellRomance Coach, Online Dating Coach
Great post. I don't trust many people. It's a hindrance, but I think common for people my age.
Sheridan
Furthermore, even with the NHS trust is a lot less then say with my mum and dad's generation. It's quite sad.
David Power
Expert in Hypnosis, Success Thinking adnd Practical Parenting
I tend to be a really trusting person, but I've found my trust to be exploited more often now than before. Gradually I am becoming a less trusting person because of this. A cycle of cynicism perhaps.
Jennifer Skinner
Wardrobe Planning Expert
Steve, first, how'd ya get that technorati icon on your blog page?
Next, I would think that trust is dying, but I tend to be a very trusting person, so I'm not really sure.
Great post - really gives you something to think about.
Lisa McLellan
Child care specialist
Steve,
Love this one! It takes me a while to trust anyone, let alone the government.
Sabrina Peterson
I fix people!
Scott A Bell
me, i trust the feds....
;-)
www.kevinhogan.net
When it comes to a larger entity my guard is always up and hasn't had a reason to let it down yet
Focus your Energy
I learned at a very young age not to trust, and it's stuck with me since.
I'm learning to trust a little more each day though. I have met people along the way who have taught me that there is hope, but there are certian things in the world I will never trust, like for instance:
Government
Polititians
Health Care System
California Law
California Education System
You get the point......
My personal relationships that I do have though, I DO trust in those. And I thank GOD everyday that I have them in my life.
Dr Peter